Whod you bang
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
