My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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