So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No subtext here. People are naked.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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