I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
