I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
