And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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