Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
