I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
