I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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