he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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