...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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