I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
