So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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