I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize