i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
