I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
