You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize