I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
what the fuck happened to the tacos
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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