im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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