I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
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Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
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Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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