Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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