I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
