I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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