Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
