just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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