wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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