i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize