I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
