There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
