Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
