Well apparently he's into motor boating.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
