Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
