we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You can't just leave with hair like that
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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