Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
40s are totally the cure
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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