she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
