Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
