they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
