24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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