i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
