white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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