The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
