we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
