i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
she smelled like a LAN party
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
