i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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