That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
