so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
