I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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