the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Never joke about your clitoris.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
