The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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