Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
this will be a night to untag.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
