My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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