WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Randomize
