i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
