SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
