Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm getting married
To pizza
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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