I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
