i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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