You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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