I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
