As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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