Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize