I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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