no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
