he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
