we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
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