Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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