I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
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