Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
