Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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